About seven weeks ago I was furious with my husband. He didn’t do anything wrong. He was doing everything right. I had an internal tantrum, screaming at him in my head, because he was wasting his time. That’s what I told myself, anyway.
You know that’s not reality, though. He was letting himself dream and he was teaching our daughter to dream with him.
The problem lied within me. His dreaming rubbed up against my limited capacity to dream, and poked at my lack of faith and my tendency to play it safe.
Play it safe? I thought I was already outside my comfort zone. I thought the last two years were proof of my enlarged willingness to take a risk and not play it safe.
I brushed off the incident and took a long nap. I woke up feeling refreshed and ready to move on. Note that I had not expressed any ill feelings or actually screamed at anyone. Not that it justifies what was going on in my soul, but at least I had kept my mouth shut to avoid sparks starting a forest fire.
Life went back into our ordinary rhythm after my nap, but a few days later I read this:
“Just then a woman who had hemorrhaged for twelve years slipped in from behind and lightly touched his robe. She was thinking to herself, “If I can just put a finger on his robe, I’ll get well.” Jesus turned—caught her at it. Then he reassured her: “Courage, daughter. You took a risk of faith, and now you’re well.” The woman was well from then on.” Matthew 9:20-22 MSG (emphasis added)
Take a risk of faith? Take a risk of faith.
We can’t be well until we take the risk of faith.
Jesus responds to her as if He had nothing to do with her healing. He attributes her healing to her risk of faith. Her willingness to take a step, to reach out, for what she believed she could receive through that risk.
How many times have I read this same passage and been in awe at the instantaneous healing while missing her part? I’d assumed she must have been desperate but I’d never stepped in her shoes. Gulp.
Take a risk of faith?
Take a risk of faith.
Am I willing to take a risk on faith? Or am I going to sit at home with my resistance?
Resistance is what I experienced at the sight of my husband’s dream. His dream shined a light on my resistance. I know it takes a risk, a step, to move toward a dream. Subconsciously, I told myself it was impossible for us to achieve that dream and instead got angry. In reality, it was easier to get angry than admit my unwillingness to work past the resistance I felt. I was not willing in the moment to ask God to enlarge my ability to dream.
Where we most experience resistance is where God most wants to rip down limitations.
Where we experience resistance is exactly where we need to be enlarged so we can be vessels large enough to hold God’s dreams.
We can’t live out a dream if we can’t even hold the dream in our hearts, regardless of whether we believe it to be possible or impossible. We can’t live a dream if we don’t even allow ourselves permission for the dream to be deposited in us in the first place.
So with his dream and the Still Small Voice encouraging me to take a risk, I allowed myself to envision what life would be like. I gave myself permission to consider the dream, even though it felt too big and too impossible. I didn’t want to admit it, but in reality I wanted and still want that dream too.
Did you know that dreaming is a risk of faith? It is an inward movement toward it. It requires faith to even take that small step of playing with a dream and contemplating it, even if you have yet to accept the dream as one of your own. It’s the first step in a risk of faith.
What dream have you been avoiding? Are you willing to take that small first step? Are you daring enough to consider what it might be like to attain that dream?
Are you courageous enough to allow the dream to become your own? Are you willing to let God enlarge you to hold the dreams He has for you?
Just when I got comfortable with the dream and I thought it might seem impossible but possible with God, I got stretched again.
Double it. Double the dream. Dream bigger.
I still have some work to do in the enlarging arena. This petite lady needs some stretching in all directions.
It’s not about my dream that I write here, though. It’s about the push that you are feeling.
You feel the hand on your back pushing you a bit forward, encouraging you to take a step toward that impossible dream. You feel the resistance and it might make you angry being asked to risk dreaming or taking another step toward it.
Take a risk of faith?
Take the risk of faith!
God wants you to let Him enlarge your capacity and expand your dreams.
You can stay in your comfort zone.
You can be complacent.
You can live a mediocre life. (Doesn’t that remind you of being lukewarm and getting spit out?)
Or you can take a risk of faith by dreaming a bit.
You can hold on to the truth that you’ve already been granted access to heaven on earth.
And you’ve been commissioned to greater things than He did.
But how can you get to do those greater things if you can’t even take a risk to dream? Can you dream? Can you trust?
Then take a risk of faith.
What is it?
You know what it is, that risk. Go take it.